What the Zuda?!

Zuda is an online division of DC Comics. They hold a competition every month. 10 entrants, 8 pages... To the winner -- Mastery of the Universe!!! MWAHAHAHA!

Actually, the prize is nothing so grandiose... although I've been waiting for my mandate to rule the universe for a while now. Getting slightly impatient. I guess the mail is slow.

The powers that be Zuda handpick competitors from all the submissions they receive. The winner gets a year contract to continue their comic on the Zuda site at a rate of 1 page /week (paid of course)... Total 60 pages of comic goodness. Not bad. They sometimes also pick Instant Winners from the submissions. we were not so lucky, although we did make it into the January Competition!!! Woohooo!

An over-written, slow, but good-looking little stab at moderate fame and fortune called, get this... Hold you're breath for the cheesy goodness... Legacy of the Wanderer. Hoo boy... And I'm the one who came up with that! Ah well... certainly not my favorite of my own work (Those who know me know that I hate everything I do anyway), but it was an attempt at something. Next one will be better. I promise.

It's not doing that well in the competition, but what the hey! Its in there. AND we're doing okay, even without any 'marketing'... This doesn't count as marketing does it? I mean a readership of between 0 and 10... really.

Stay tuned for more updates.. and other stuff.

Yawn... So, where was I?

Good question.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Yeah. I figured. Good luck finding someone to answer THAT question. I'm the one that's been living (supposedly) this life, and even I can't answer with any clarity.

Oh, by the way, I'm using Ben Stein's image without his persmission. Don't tell him. OR, maybe you should tell him. Nothing would get me out of these doldrums so quickly as a lawsuit, preferably long and drawn out and high profile.

I was going to link it to his site, but... Maybe that would be going too far.

Anyway.... Last few months. I worked at Eidos Montreal for a while. On the new Deus Ex. Was hoping to get some Thief project too. Apparently my face is persona (more accurately faci or faca or face, whatever) non grata. Not a nibble. That Invisible Man syndrome coming back to bite me in the ass again. I may get some more time on Deus Ex in the new year.

Working on a graphic novel/comic with a friend of mine. Actually we're planning on a few of them.... Gives me something to do I guess. Our first attempt may be entered in an online competition very soon. Winners get a 1 year online publishing deal. Stay tuned.

Other writing... sigh. I'm not sure I want to discuss it. I'm trying to avoid any subject that might tempt me into throwing myself under a bus.

Well... so far this post looks like more of a diary entry than the incisive look at human foibles that you've become accustomed to from the Torch.

Did any of you buy that? If so, I've got a comic to sell you... or some half-finished short stories... or a barely used typewriter. (I know... but typewriter works better for this joke)

I Love the Sound of Leaf-Blowing in the Morning... Right.

Ah... Nothing says summer like the piercing scream of a leaf-blower. Not surprisingly, it also signifies (at least to me), the relative proximity of a DUMBASS or possibly a group of dumbasses!!!!
Yes, it's rant time again. Turns out people and their habits REALLY get on my nerves. Who knew?

By the way, this rant is brought to you courtesy of the pinhead who decided 7:30 was a good time to blow some stuff off his property onto someone else's property, so that the whole thing could start over again. Truth be told... it could have been at anytime during the day, night, or century and I'd still feel the same.

Wow... I guess nature is just not 'clean' enough for these people. And then to not even put out the physical effort of... oh, PICKING UP A F$%#ING RAKE!!!... No, instead, I'll just start up this noisy, smelly, gas-powered (yeah, some are electric... so what?) pollution-omatic machine and start blowing crap all over the place.

Here's what I think you should do with your Leaf-blower in a few easy steps:
1. Start blower
2. Bend over
3. Stick blower where the sun don't shine
4. Start blowing like there's no tomorrow...
Hopefully after step 4 the rest of us won't have to worry about you and your noisy toys any more.

Of course, not being a property-owner, how can I truly relate to the shame of 'messy lawn' or the dreaded 'bits 'o stuff on my drive-way'? How will I ever live down the country club members having seen a leaf on my front porch?

Geez... I'm so pissed I did even look for a pic.

Indiana Jones and the Middle of the Road

I saw the new Indy movie...

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of ** whew... take a breath** the Crystal Skull. That's a mouthful. Who comes up with these titles?

Some background - The first movie of the franchise, Raiders of the Lost Ark (note... no 'Indiana Jones and the' in the title), may well be at THE top of my all time favourite movies list... if I had such a list. The next two, while I don't think are quite as good, stayed true to the spirit of the genre and the character. This one... not so much.

Why? Hard to put my finger on it. The previous movies (especially Raiders) struck the right balance of pulp, b-movie, action, comedy, and slap-dashedness (add anything else you can think of to the list). The action sequences were perfectly interspersed with witty, tongue-firmly-in-cheek dialogue, so that you wouldn't get a crease in your butt from the edge of your seat... Maybe they were formulaic, but it was a formula that worked.

I think Kingdom missed the mark. Basically... it was too clean. Too 'polished'? I know... It sounds weird. Maybe all the CG did it. Maybe the subject matter (sorry, no spoilers). I know that the changes they made in the Indy character... I didn't like those at all. Yeah, yeah... he's supposed to be older and all that crap... I still don't buy it. Not in an archetype like Indiana Jones, especially one that draws on an established pulp tradition.

Honestly... the writing wasn't all that hot either. Most of the time, the wry wit that Indy is supposed to spout... fell right on its face. Barely a chuckle. The action sequences... TOO over-the-top. There's a fine line between suspension of disbelief and suspension of brain activity.

I think they (writers, producer, director) may have fallen into the trap of trying to please today's audience too much and of sticking to what made the Indy franchise too little. I know... some of you are saying... 'Today's audience rules! Who else should they make movies for, idiot?'

I say F&%$ today's audience. 85% of people are mediocre... Doesn't mean you cater to them. If you do that you end up with a country/planet run by the mediocre, for the medio... Oh... right.

What it comes down to is... Indiana Jones and the Kingdom...etc... is a thoroughly OK movie. Only I was expecting something more than just OK.

Tubin'

Ahhhh... What a wonderful way to waste time. For those of you who are into 'extreme' sports, or at least watching them.

Bah! Extreme. Whoever tagged that term should be shot into deep space with no life-support. Ruined a perfectly good word.

Anyway... some very cool stuff to watch at http://tubeguide.tv/. Easily seachable.... even more easily addictive. Sigh. Just what I need another excuse. Now I'm wasting time watching people doing stuff that I should be doing instead of wasting time watching people doing stuff I should be doing. Um... Well, you know what I mean -- Wow... That sentence could have kept right on going! Like looking into two mirrors facing each other. I think I may be at the nexus of the universe...

Don't know how often I'll be able to hit the surf this season. I've taken a pretty rigid stance when it comes to the oil industry/car industry/ pollution thing. That means getting to a surf spot is going to be nigh impossible without causing some psychic turmoil... unless I walk or something. Being this high and mighty is a real pain in the ass, But if you want to 'lord it' over everyone else, you've got to make some sacrifices ;)

Sigh... I can't wait until I turn into that hermit/mountain-man/ recluse living off the land in the wilderness. Then I won't have to worry about all this...

Runnin' Away Won't Save Ya!!!!

Getting restless!!! Looks like a long bike trek may be around the corner.

Frustration on the job-front, the writing-front, the life-front ;)... Well, they've conspired to give me a serious case of itchy-feet. No, not fungal. Maybe it's more a case of itchy-mind. Anyway... I'm sort of half-seriously, kind of into planning a partial cross-the-country jaunt... on a bike... alone... yeah, that's what I said, too.

Actually, this has been in the works for... Wait. Saying 'in the works' makes it sound like I've been 'planning' this for years. Anyone who knows me knows that's crap. More likely, if I do this at all, it will be a seat-of-the-pants, barely-survive, kind of endeavor. What I meant to say is that myself and a friend of mine used to tell each other that 'one day we should/would do this thing'. This was back when I was heavily into training and the outdoors. It didn't seem as daunting. What's a few thousand kilometers?

What it is, is crazy. Considering the shape of my bike and the shape of me, there should be no considering... Well, when has that ever stopped me? Turns out Mike (the afore-mentioned friend), lives in BC... Hmmm... sounds like a destination. How convenient.

Montreal to BC... Somewhere around 4000km's I think. I figure I can do that in a month. Yeah. I said that with a straight face. What of it?

Anyway, this is still pie-in-the-sky stuff, but don't be too surprised if one of these days I update from somewhere where I don't know where I am.

Spring!... Back in the Saddle.

Spring has finally really sprung in Montreal. Surf season is just around the corner. The antediluvian snowbanks are shrinking to mere ice-age scale... AND... I've taken the bike out for the first time. Woohoo...

This is always one of the best times of the year for me. Don't know why. Call it casting off the shackles of winter... Self-imposed shackles really, but whatever. I went for about 2h15 yesterday. A surprisingly comfortable ride. Felt strong. Felt fit. Felt altogether unlike myself :). AND, surprise of all surprises, I was NOT the victim of perpetual headwind-itis. This is the phenomenon where no matter how far you ride, no matter what circular/out-and-back/whatever route you take, the wind seems to be in your face. Incredible! Yesterday... headwinds only on the way home. Not so bad. I'll be going out again today. Maybe a short run in there...

What this means is less time for writing. Actually, that's not technically true. I'll just have to plan my time better... GYm/pool in the early morning... writing in mid-morn until the day warms up... riding in the afternoon... p'raps more wordsmithing in the eve. Yeah THAT'S it... a regimen!

Of course, we all know what's going to happen. While in the winter I had the entire day to waste and procrastinate and stay away from the keyboard, now I'll actually have an excuse, and less total time to account for in the end. YAY!